trouble with my final piece for writing styles

i'm finding it really difficult to write this piece...i'll try and have it up in the next few days, i'd really appreciate lots of comments!

thanks all who have already read and commented my pieces. i'm getting round slowly to you all, theres some really great pieces out there.

for anyone who hasn't yet, please feel free to read the two writing styles i'v put up and comment.

sarah c

note for grace.

hey grace,

have tried commenting on your piece and as it won't let me, i'v decided like others to post it here:

wow! great piece of descriptive writing. as i was reading it i felt just like the girl seating two velvet seats away from you.
The only improvements i think you could make is with small things, like making important words/sentences bold and maybe changing the layout slightly.
On first glances, i didn't realise which show you were writing about.BUT maybe you don't need to mention the title of the piece. As its descriptive, do you feel you need to set up it to begin with by mentioning the title? or do you feel the title is irrelevent?
really beautiful piece.well done grace!

hope you get to read this and it helps.

sarah c

writing styles.

i have two of my pieces up now, and had not much feedback.
reading some really beautifully worded pieces!
so much so, that with poeple descriptive pieces in particular that iv read, its drawn me in and made me look into the choosen pieces. danielles descriptive blog on a dance piece featuring music by philip glass is a really enjoyable read! i highly recommend checking it out.

Second piece of the writing styles.

As I realised my mind had wondered, I was thrown back into my whereabouts: a hall. The smell of custard puddings mixed with the air of freshly-polished wooden-floors woke-me-up to a room full of children; 200 eyes exploring my brightly coloured polka-dot dress. Before I could take-in anymore of my surroundings, I jumped into my first position: a lifeless puppet on a shelf in amongst others frozen in toy-like poses. A happy tune started dancing out of the piano and speakers, and as we came to life I felt the glowing-grins of the children’s face light-up our stage.

“The masters gone, now we’re alone. And we can tell you something that is very little known, his powers fade when he’s away. Sometimes he seems to think that we’re just made of wood!”

The words leapt out from my mouth acrobatically into a union of singing toys, signing the phrase with a wooden motion. Darting round the space, our faces big and full of expression, we mimicked Gepetto, our ignorant creator, and how he seems not to notice us four puppets. But wait! We all freeze on stage as someone enters that shouldn’t see us move. Its Gepetto, he’s forgotten his coat. Our eyes so are wide and watering slightly as they can feel the air being pushed into them as the children bounce up-and-down “the puppets are alive! They have your coat! Turn around and look!” A slap-stick sequence ensues with Gepetto conversing with the children and walking around our built-up puppet shape centrally facing the children. We mime him exaggeratedly only when his back is turned. The children’s voices rising with laughter and shouts every time we freeze upon Gepetto turning to inspected us. Just when we can no longer hold our positions, bodies trembling, Gepetto runs off stage and for a few seconds, which felt like hours, everything stops. The children’s mouths gape open, they stare at us. Leaping up and out across every part of our stage we hear them once again laugh and call at us. We sing and sign until finally the first song meets its curtain. I flop over becoming a statue of a doll. The children fall silent once again as a small man step’s forward supporting a purple curly-haired wig. After a few lines of introduction he tells the children of how the four puppets surrounding them are all puppets which at the click of a remote control, Gepetto rewinds back on in hast to name them.
“I know! I’ll name them after the vowels!” each puppet is assigned a name, and individually takes the stage to poetically tell their own tale. Next it’s me. Palms hot, back aching, and my mind a million miles per minute. I start and only stop to draw breathe.

“Pinocchiee was jolly, a rosy-cheeked silly dolly. My voice it belts and hits the notes, always off-key so I’m pleased not to gloat. I think myself an undiscovered star, which will be spotted from afar. But instead everyday I’ll spread joy to every puppet and every toy.”

This doll draws a big smile and gleams to the children. They mirror and copy with ear-to-ear, some missing milk teeth. This is the point my stomach stops churning, and I cool down. And as I prepare for the next fifty minutes I realise we’re only minutes in and it’s already the best performance of the piece so far.

first writing style piece: “Does he really think that we’re just made of wood?”

Its coming up to Christmas, under your tree there may be lots of presents but there’s something that won’t quite fit under there this year!
Gepetto’s workshop takes place at chickenshed theatre this winter. So take shelter from the cold and windy hash-whether outside, and transport you and your child into a magically place where one good little puppet comes to life and wants to save the day.

Adapted from the original story of “Pinocchio” and transformed into a contemporary version, where songs and dances lift you out of your seat and onto the stage.

The story begins, like most, with a bang. SLAM! The door closes after a hurrying Gepetto runs out after a very mischievous and naughty newly-made puppet. A puppet that has come to life! “Pinocchio! Come back here!” But what Gepetto does not realise is that Pinocchio’s 4 sisters also are all very much alive "does he really think that we're just made of wood?"All have their own stories, except one. Named after the vowels, the last made Pinocchiyoo embarks out on an adventure looking for her own story, meeting friends along the way.


If you’re involved in primary school learning or teaching…

From Monday 16th November to Wednesday 23rd December for a sum of £275, treat the lower years of your school no better way then with our show and workshop.

Designed by a small team, the piece is an interactive story which encourages the audience to get up and involved in what’s going on. Aimed at children up to the age of seven, the dances, songs and overall moral is perfect for performing at schools and to be applied into the classroom. Meeting characters, puppets and friends big and small, we promise never a dull moment.

It’s an experience your school will love if you use the mixture of learning, performing and art. We offer an hour session and a half an hour workshop period, in which we teach the children songs they will have heard during the piece, and take them through activities to do with the shows content containing role-play elements.

What a reward after a long year!

If you’re a parent…

For six performances only, you are welcomed into the main auditorium at Chickenshed to take part in helping the puppets along on the adventure. Joining in with songs and dances, meeting some new friends and seeing some old ones, we promise to make your child’s Christmas one they won’t forget!
If you haven’t been to chickenshed before, expect no stage as we encourage children to get as involved in what the performers are doing as much as they want. As well as, puppet interaction, monsters big and small, and a few surprise on the way!

Dates: Saturday 12th December
Saturday 19th December
Wednesday 23rd December.

Times : 10am & 11.30am

Tickets: £5

Book today: Box Office: 020 8292 9222.

Email: bookings@chickenshed.org.uk Or for textphone users call 18001 020 8292 9222 (Typetalk).

So if you’re looking for magic this year look no further then at gepettos workshop.

(kolb) tales at the shed.

Concrete experience.


“Tales from the shed” is a weekly show I perform in for 0-5 year olds, each week the themes change using a variety of characters that we constantly re-use which we call “friends from the shed” taking the form of puppets and skins. The show is set-up all on the same level as the children for them to have the freedom to get up and involved in what’s going on onstage. We use dance, songs and stories to teach the children different morals/life lessons from they’re early age, and doing so in a fun way.
Last weeks piece had themes of different whether and how we can embody the moods of rain, sun, wind, etc.
In this session we used a story, featuring different types of whether as characters, about a snow flake who was being left out by the moon, the sun, the cloud, and the rainbow. By the end of this story, the characters were all sharing and compromising.
We also used a song and dance, which the children could get involved in, about a favourite past-time of splashing in puddles with big welly-boots on. We taught them to express themselves and what they enjoy to do, and allowed them to be part of something onstage as much as they wanted to, which meant they could grow confidence from an early age.

Reflective observation.

After doing the first session (there’s 3-4 sessions every week) I noticed I needed to change simple things like positioning round the stage, so I wouldn’t block the performers from the children and vice-versa. Also we changed some things, for a part of it called “the sock quartet” originally only one person was onstage for this part, we changed this for the next session so that 3 of us would be on to support the children and dancing as well, encouraging them to join in if they wanted to.

Abstract conceptualisation.

However much you plan a session ahead, you can’t ever tell what the audience will be like. Sometimes no one gets involved and it’s very quiet, which usually means it’s a session with the majority of younger children. Sometimes they won’t stop dancing, talking, and singing, which means the group has no focus.
This first session had crazy children in it running around everywhere, at the time we had to improvise a focusing exercise, but after the session, we talked about it and decided on 3 small and quick focusing exercises we would put into place if we felt we needed to gain the groups focus.

Active experimentataion.

After having come in early to set-up and run a few songs, we did a lose run of the session and ran a few parts we used to fill in the gaps in between scenes. From doing so we felt very prepared, tales is the type of show though, where no matter how much you plan things still go wrong, or change, and you improvise on-the-spot a lot so there were a few parts of the session where, even though they had gone really well the session before, they didn’t get the same response or the timing differed. Each time the audience changes, so does where the laughs and silences go. This goes very-much-so for children shows too even more so. Children, I think, are the hardest audience you, as a performer, will ever perform to. They have no pretence of lying about if they enjoy something, they are honest and you can tell very easily when they are finding something boring as they will simply go and find something more interesting to focus on. If they love something its all smiles and laughter, and they will join in if they feel confident enough. After doing children’s shows for a while, you start to see, overall, what the age-group you’re performing to enjoy.
With whatever you do, it’s about being animated in your facial expressions and physicality.

links of interest: art art art!!

I also really enjoy art, I see performing and art work as two peas-in-a-pod. Personally, I have always writen peotry that captures either my current mood or an emotion i have under-gone, and then i couple it with a piece of art. sometimes this leads me to write scenes or songs, so drawing is a good outlet for me which relaxs me into being able to jsut create for the sake of creating, without a nessesary need to make a piece for a certain time.

To the right, one of my "doodles" which started as jsut a series of random scribbles and then lead me to create a song from a poem i had writen underneath the drawing. the song was about how things aren't what they seem, so sometimes you need to look alittle closely, and scratch off the top layer of the surface.

I also find drawing motivates me through channelling my creativey. If I need to get focused drawing enables me to calm down and do so.

links of interest: playing guitar.

I write play and write songs on guitar, this is something that I have a real passion for. I love trying to write in different styles and get different sounds from playing, and learning new songs and making them my own.
I am self taught on guitar, which actually technology has made very easy, on Google you can get various sites which show you chords and how to play them, where to put your fingers:

the above tabs have numbers on, these represent which frets to put your individual fingers on, and then show you which string you should do this on. simple!

the resources that I use

youtube-enables me as a visual and audio learner to explore different interests i have, and learn in this way. I never found it easy to sit and study with a book as a way of learning and remebering something, but by using youtube what I need to research I remeber, and can easily get back to.
www.youtube.com

facebook-keeps me up to date with whats going on in peoples lives, its not only a good form of socialising and keeping in touch with people far away, but also is a good place to hear about shows and gigs going on that I might be interested in.
www.facebook.com

ultimate guitar tabs archive-this is the site i religiously go to when i want to learn a new song on guitar, it breaks it down in steps to show you exactly how to play the song of your choice. it also has catergories(popular songs, guest articles, music reviews, news) which mean if you wanted to play a song but didn't know its name you could find out about the band/singer and then from that find out the tabs/chords.
www.ultimate-guitar.com


google-enables my research to be done in whatever way i need it or choose to do it (film footage, pictures, text)
www.google.com


IMDb-I especially used this alot when i used to work at blockbusters and i'd get costumers saying "whats thge name of that film...the one with...in it?you know...its a love story..." i'd type in the names and find the film in no time!
www.imdb.com


empire-keeps me up to date in the world of film directors, actors/actresses, new films up and coming, and does various articles on different films/directors history. there was a really good article afew months ago about the history of stock-motion.
www.empireonline.com

Third person i admire: Danny Elfman.

It’s a wonder that although I knew about Danny Elfmans works and was a fan of his, that until last year when I decided to look into his work in more depth that I was pleasantly surprised by the pieces I was unaware he had composed. There was a world of musical-pieces that I had heard at the beginning of my favourite programmes and films, and suddenly it was all fitting together the reason I had enjoyed them so much was they were all composed by the same man: Danny Elfman.
From “the Simpsons” to “desperate housewives” to “the nightmare before Christmas” and “batman” Elfman has shown the world he can crate music for anything and succeed excellently.
Being a Tim Burton, fan I stumbled across the work of Elfman as they formed a close work partnership which meant that all Burton films have a soundtrack composed by Elfman. The two go hand in hand as Elfman understands what Burton wants to convey through his work in his films and Elfman captures every feeling of each film and makes them into musical masterpieces.
If you haven’t heard any of his pieces you haven’t lived! I find myself getting lost in the soundtrack to “Edward scissorhand” all the time, each time I listen to it, it seems to change and capture my emotions at the time of listening. Its magical music that will transport you away from your everyday life to somewhere you can’t be touched by stress and worry.

Second person i admire: Tim Burton.

I love films, so for me it only seems natural to talk about Tim Burton. As a director Tim Burton in many of his films Tim looks at suburbia and how strange events can take place in them. Edward scissorhands takes place in such a setting, but Edward is a metaphor of how when a boy goes through puberty they get new feelings that they can be quite afraid of. Burton uses a character with scissors for hands to show someone who’s afraid to touch or get close to anyone else.
The ways this film, and mostly all of burtons films, are filmed uses a contrast of very colourful scenes and then others which are very grey and dismal. Burton nearly always uses the unobvious grey scenes to represent either the here and now, and uses colourful scenes to show a flash back or something that couldn’t be and is fantasy-like. The stock motion film “corpse bride” Burton creates a colourful world of the “dead” whereas the “living” is more tones of colours.
Tim also writes poetry which lead him to write a book called “the melancholy death of oyster boy” his poems are usually short and quirky, and use dark metaphors in a contrast of light settings.

tim minchin: some poeple have it worse then me.

This is my favourite tim minchin song as it uses genuis lyrics about an ordinary boring day but keeps going back to the simple fact that other people are having harder and worse lives around the world then this day.
Minchins almost tongue-twisting lyrics make the song something that you have to hear afew times to hear every gag, but I can garentee you'll want to hear it more then once as its so catchy!

I was unable to unload the footage, but check it out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78XrI_2bPVA

First person i admire: Tim Minchin

Tim Minchin is an Australian comedian, actor and writer who uses music/song to talk about different issues and topics in a light hearted way. Having been described: “Minchin is a genuine musical virtuoso, whose songs are constructed and sung with an attention to detail that would make Rufus Wainwright sit up and look nervous. And that’s even before we get to the jokes.” (The Times, London) Minchin’s witty lyrics and well timed jokes are inspiration enough for any song writer.
Minchin begun playing piano from the age of eight, however, gave it up for three years due to finding the discipline too tedious, but got reintroduced to playing when him and his brother started writing songs together. He then went on to graduate the University of Western Australia in 1995 Bachelor of Arts in English and Theatre, and in 1998 completed an Advanced Diploma in Contemporary Music at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, after which minchin started composing for various television programmes in Australia, and after not being able to get an agent (even after releasing an album with his band “timmy the dog”)minchin struggled finding an agent as his songs were well received but record companies were unsure how to market his works.
He continued to compose and got a few acting jobs before working with Karen Koren (manager of Gilded Balloon venues) the show finally went to “The Edinburgh Festival Fringe” and in 2007 he won the award for Best Alternative Comedian at the HBO US Comedy Arts Festival.
Minchin is continually writing and this week he is doing gigs all round london, including that of hammersmith.
His songs including “inflatable you”, “some people have it worse then I”, and “not perfect” are offernt based on thoughts and feelings about someone or something but changed up into a more harilous situation or from a funnier point of view.
Tim minchin is someone I only recently discovered, but nonetheless I feel a genuis that’s work will keep getting better. As I myself am a song writer, I find the type of music he creates very funny and interesting, as well as being composed magnificently. His songs I am sure will be among those that never grow old to me no matter how many times I listen to them.
check out tim minchin on youtube.com, I'll be putting linkes up in the near futher of my favourite minchin pieces.

CV

I am Sarah Connolly, I’m 20 year old. I’m very interested in performing arts and have attended chickenshed Theatre Company for the past fourteen years, in which time I have performed in over 17 shows and various galas/cabarets. Whilst being at chickenshed I have had various work experiences such as: front of house (assistant duty manager); Backstage lighting (follow spot); Organising and hosting events; Working with children (both able bodied and disabled); I have supported school workshops as well as running and planning/devising workshops for home educated under thirteen’s; Hair and make up design; and art work for various projects linked with chickenshed. Between the ages of sixteen and eighteen I did a Btec in performing arts at chickenshed where I furthered my understanding of the performing arts disciplines. I acquired three distinctions by doing this. After finishing this, I started a foundation in inclusive theatre. Where upon I gained various different experiences in and around the theatre on and off stage. I helped write, devise, direct, and perform in a student show; I took on the responsibility of writing both lyrics and tunes for the songs for this, as well as some of the music. I taught the songs to the relevant people and gave them a feeling of how the song should be delivered on stage.
Currently I have started a BAPP in professional practice, where I am based at chickenshed Theatre Company and at the moment I am performing 0-5 year’s old shows, supporting student classes and other show rehearsals, and taking part in a gala at the royal Albert hall.